My Confession

My Confession: I'm a lazy mom. I'll admit it. But it's not what you think. I came across a blog recently that is quickly becoming one of my favorite to peruse when I have a few minutes online. Since coming across the blog, I have started to not ridicule myself so much for my "laziness". I now know that the things I'm doing are serving to make my children healthier, happier, more self-sufficient individuals.
But I am also am a bit lazy in the traditional sense. I don't cook gourmet meals every day, but my kids don't starve. Sometimes I get behind on the laundry (or dishes or whatever), not because I'm busy, but because I got caught up in something on Hulu (or Netflix, or Facebook...) and lost track of time. Sometimes my kids watch little too much TV, so I can get a shower in peace.
I think we, as moms (and dads), feel so guilty for all the little things we feel we fail at, that a lot of times we forget all the things we do right.We get so caught up in what we are "supposed" to do, I think it makes us overlook all the little things that make our jobs as moms and dads so rewarding.
For example, there was an evening after supper a few weeks ago. None of the dishes were done, I'm sure there was laundry that needed to be attended to, and I know that the living room looked like Toys-R-Us had just exploded. But I was messing around with the webcam on the laptop and the boys wandered over to see what I was up to. They wanted to see themselves, so I hit the record button, knowing that there would be some good goof-off footage to be had. Sure enough, I've got about ten minutes of the boys and me making silly faces, singing songs, giggling nonstop, and having a great time. I watched it this morning and it almost brought tears to my eyes to think how quickly time is passing.
Soon, my babies won't be babies. Ian starts pre-K next year and I will only have one kid during the day. In a way I am looking forward to it because of how good it will be for him, socially as well as educationally. But it's still very bittersweet.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the time with our children is so fleeting and so precious. So if I need to let things around the house get behind to enjoy some quality time with my kiddos, then by golly, that's it what I'm going to do. And I'm not going to apologize for it!

Ten years...

I know most people will be putting up memorial blogs, vlogs, posts, etc. about what 9/11 memories they have, or where they were, or what have you. But I want to talk about what it means to me, as a parent.

In my memory, the events of that day are quite vivid, which I'm sure most can relate to. I was 15, and I had just entered my keyboarding class, ready to take a test. When I got to the room, the TV was on, which I thought was strange, because the teacher had a strict policy about no television in her room. But because all of the TV's in the school were connected by a central control panel, every TV in the school happened to be on after the news broke. I remember looking up at the screen right as the second plane hit. I think that truly was my last moment as a child. All I could think was that it had to be a mistake. America was the greatest place on Earth, how could this happen. Needless to say, the test was postponed. And because of my town's proximity to a nuclear power plant, speculation began to circulate about if something were going to happen to us. I think for a solid week, no work was accomplished at my school. After a couple days, the TV's were turned off, but the fear remained, as I'm sure it did for many around our country. And for weeks, I think we wondered if there was going to be a secondary attack.
I remember that for months, there was a huge call to prayer for our country. Attendance in local churches swelled and flags hung in almost every yard in town.
Then we went to war. And while I don't want to make this a political debate, I think both parties are responsible, no matter who was in office at the time. And we still are in this fight today.
So for me, 9/11 has been on my mind for the past ten years. Not a day has gone by that I don't think about what it has changed in me. I have family and friends in the military who've had to go overseas, but I have been so very fortunate to still have them all with me. I know many who have lost loved ones to war. And my heart goes out to them and I am so very thankful for their service. I wonder sometimes if the draft will be reinstated and if my husband will be called up. It's my prayer that that doesn't happen, but I know that he will do what is needed for his country.
But as for how this has affected me as a parent, well, I think it has just made me all the more conscience of their innocence. I want to protect them from all the evils of this world and shelter them from any harm. I know all parents want to keep their children small, and I'm no exception. I want my children to stay children as long as possible. Yes, I was 15 when 9/11 happened, but I was still very much a child until that moment. And I suppose, most of all, I just want them to never have to experience their childhood and innocence being ripped away from them like it was for me and countless others. While I am doing my best to prepare them for the big, crazy world that awaits them not too far in the future, I hope they stay little boys for a long, long time.